Editor In Butch

Tools of the Trade #1: The Carabiner

In Tools of the Trade on January 17, 2009 at 1:15 am


Carabinus Maximus, green in it's ripe stages.

Carabinus Maximus, green in it's ripe stages.

As a reasonable, sensible lesbian, there’s one thing that’s important to me first. That one thing is: safety.  Whether it’s preventing one’s personal belongings from theft or climbing the Aggro Crag, I think we can all concur that the Carabiner is a useful tool.  For the record, I’m a city-dweller and haven’t the foggiest idea how this tool is meant to be used; but I think its purpose is three-fold.  First, it prevents the loss of one’s house-keys; so that, in the event of an absent-minded episode (or perhaps an evening of over-indulgence…ahem), one can always gain access to one’s place of residence.   Second, communicates (both aurally & visually) to those nearby, that the wearer is, in fact, a homosexual lady…or a janitor…or both.  And finally, if one’s gym contains a climbing wall, and one has lost one’s fear of an over-pronounced camel-toe, it may or may not be a necessary tool for attaching oneself to an attractive climbing instructor.

So, whether it’s clipped to the corner of a Marc Jacobs bag or proudly displayed at the crotch of your repelling harness, the Carabiner saves lives. Wear with pride.


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